I would love to get you in contact with a specialist who can work out the permissions you need. I am also a dependent and we have set things up where I can handle our bill paying etc. Please send us an email here at firstname.lastname@example.org with your member number and details about what you are having trouble accessing and we can get the right person in touch to fix things! Thank you for taking the time to comment!
It sounds like you are not the joint owner on the accounts, but just an authorized user/agent.
The USAA Depository Agreement and Disclosures (starting on page 6) explains the ownership of accounts.
"For any account where a joint account holder is added to an existing account, the added
account holder has all the same rights and access to the account as the original account holder, including access
to all account and transaction history."
I would definitely check to make sure your spouse has listed you as a joint owner. The same goes for credit cards - the easiest way to tell is your name will be on the listed on the bill. If just your spouses name appears, then you are just an authorized user.