My fiance has had a ton of guilt from his experiences in Iraq. Most of the time he is okay, but then there are other times where he is just very depressed and watches memorial videos. I have had people pass away in very bad circumstances in my life, but have not dealt or seen anything that he did on deployment. Does anyone have any advice on how to help your spouse cope with these types of feelings without them feeling like "you don't understand."?


Navy Wife 87- Thank you for your question. It can be hard to connect with your fiance when talking about his experiences in Iraq. Offer to listen and be supportive. Encourage him to talk to someone he trusts, a friend or family member or Chaplain. He needs time and understanding to process all the emotions he is currently feeling. Everyone heals at their own pace but if his emotional up and downs seem to be increasing then you will want to contact your FFSC, branch medical clinic or Military OneSource to seek professional guidance. I hope this helps. Please keep in touch.
This happened when my hubby returned from his 1st deployment. I noticed him losing his temper quicker. Sometimes I felt like he wanted to tell me things that he saw over there but would only say how our kids should feel lucky for what they have. Best advise I can give is to be patient. He may not want to talk about his experience (at least not right away). If/when he does just listen. You may have to make some small adjustments to help him. I had to tell the kids they could not run or jump when they played upstairs because the noise brought up memories for daddy. When he is watching those videos (unless he asks you not to) sit with him so he knows you are there for him. It's the best thing in the world to have him home and safe but the feelings that are brought back with him can make it hard to be happy. Everyone is different but he's just going to need some time. My hubby eventually had no problems when the kids jumped upstairs, unless they got out of hand ;-) There is no way for us spouses to completely understand what they go through. Stay strong and let him know you are there for him. Hope some of this helps
My husband just got back, 3 months ago, there has been differences. and will be a great start with, and here is one more They help with free counseling and help with anger management. I hope this helps you. My husband just found a number 18002738255 that is the veteran crisis line. Good luck.