Husband homecoming from deployment and Mother in Law issues

Highlighted
Contributor

My husband and I are newly married and he is on his first deployment. Our first year of marriage is long distance as I am finishing up graduate school before I move to be at his duty station with him but currently, I live in the same city as my mother in law. We have had various struggles, she says she is over the moon happy with me but she hasn't respected our relationship very much and gets drunk and makes comments about how I stole her son. Noone in the entire family stands up to her, she has had full reign of this family and he is the baby. She has disrespected me in several ways with acknowledging that she is at fault, full knowing how hard some of these situations have been on me. I really want to keep peace so up until this point I have been silent through the struggles however my husband is getting ready to come home to his duty station and I would like alone time with him as would he but his mother informed me that she will be going up to see him the weekend he comes home even though he will be going to visit her/us 2 weeks after. It is really going to bother me if she robs us of this time together, I know that he doesn't want her there either but he would never say anything to her because he feels it would be disrespectful. What do I do? Further, she has an alcohol problem so when she visits she drinks heavily and it really upsets him. I have a feeling that she is going to keep pushing me around until I stand up for myself but I don't want to make my husband choose. I just don't know at what point I should stop putting my feelings aside. Long distance marriage in the first year is hard enough, but thus far, our only fights have been due to things she has done so I know this needs to be addressed.

2 REPLIES

Highlighted

We have similar situations!! My best advice would be to pray about the prey of the family. It will be very difficult to make your husband choose. Me, personally, I don't tolerate my mother-in-law BS tactics. However, I'm always respectful never spiteful!!!

Highlighted

Try and get your mother in law alone and sober - keeing your voice calm and assertive.

Tell her that you wish some alone time with your husband and you will return shortly with him for her to see.

You have been nothing but truthful and straight with her. Can she argue with honesty.?.NO..

Do not allow her the power to bully by taking control - not with anger or resentment but with calm control....your the boss then.