We are in the DC area now. My husband is stationed at the Pentagon. We chose to live in Annandale, but we're on the border with Fairfax. If you can vision a circle as the beltway, most people want to live outside the beltway. Ft. Belvoir is just southwest of the beltway and WR is northeast. Fairfax, West Springfield, and Burke are all good options west and southwest of the beltway, as well as our little slice of Annandale.. We are in the Kings Park area of Annandale and my kids go to Canterbury Woods Elem. They had no problems transitioning from Japan to here because Canterbury Woods was so welcoming. It's a diverse area and school. Burke can get pricey, and you don't want to go too deep into Fairfax (west or north). Looking for something near the Springfield/Franconia Metro would be good, although you might have to drop your husband off there, or if you want to go further north you could look at homes near the Vienna or Dunn Loring Metro (great schools there, too). That way your husband could Metro to work and you could drive to Belvoir. The schools in Fairfax County are good. My boys are going into the 1st and 2nd grades this year. Many of the elem. schools have a preschool also, but Ft. Belvoir is a big base and does have childcare there, too. Housing at Ft. Belvoir looks nice on the outside, I've never been on the inside of a unit. There is a lot of construction on base there and it is a headache and will be for a while longer, but it's nothing compared to beltway or downtown DC traffic at rush hours. There are some nice options in Alexandria, too. You would have to do your research and find a good school there, but it is an option. It's inside the beltway, but to the south, so still in between both workplaces. Depending on how long you are stationed here, you don't have to worry too much about the schools in Fairfax County. Your children will get the education they need here and there is no standardized testing until 3rd grade in VA.
I was nervous about the commute and the "beltway", too when we moved here last year. My husband gets a stipend for traveling on the Metro, I'm sure you and yours would, too. So my husband takes the bus that comes through the neighborhood to work and they pay for 3 months worth of working days at a time. If we lived near a Metro he would take the train instead. It's much easier and user friendly than it seems at first, really. The kids and I travel the Metro all the time. And you won't be driving into DC all the time, so you don't have to worry about the traffic too much. It is a very big area, but everything is close. All the towns and neighborhoods have grocery stores, strip malls, fast food, etc. You don't have to drive very far to find what you are looking for, and parking at the Metro stations is free on the weekends.
Feel free to ask any more questions you might have. I go to Ft. Belvoir all the time for the commissary and PX shopping and to take the kids swimming. It's about 15 minutes from my house during working hours and maybe 20-25 during the rush.
Bottom line: the traffic is unavoidable. So you want to find a place to live that you can enjoy while you are home.
