Facing the News

Facing the News

Wendy Poling's avatarWendy PolingOccasional Visitor

Have you just found out your spouse is deploying? Talk about it here. Share how you are handling the news and offer encouragement and advice to others.

Re:Facing the News

Military Nomad's avatarMilitary NomadNew Member

My husband always says "We've got to talk.." Then, I know we either have orders again or another deployment. It is in the tone of voice and his eyes. We've been at this for 21 years (nine PCS sand three deployments not to mention all the long TDYs). The best advice I can give is get organized, communicate, stay on your schedule as much as possible to keep the kids and yourself positive and moving forward.

Re:Facing the News

brittmilti's avatarbrittmiltiNew Member

My fiancee and I are getting married in 10 days. We'll have 6 months together before he leaves for Afghanistan. The news hit us really hard since we'll just be starting our life together and have to put many things on hold (as all deployed families do). But I've coped by not being afraid to talk to people about it and by getting involved in causes back home that will keep me busy while he's gone. I've become the FRG leader for his group, and I joined an employee networking group at my workplace that supports veterans. I'm glad I have so many opportunities to support him (and other servicemembers) while he's giving up so much for everyone back home. Until then, we're just enjoying every minute we have together.

Re:Facing the News

MrsSteffens's avatarMrsSteffensOccasional Visitor

We just entered the deployment cycle, round 3... My daughter's reaction this time around is significantly different, and I am not sure if I should be thankful or worried. Historically she has been extremely anxious, would talk non-stop about her fears and would cling to me with major separation anxiety. We saw a counselor to help her through those fears and issues. This round (thus far) she is not clingy; has expressed that she

Re:Facing the News

Maura Arias's avatarMaura AriasNew Member

I am 19 years old my fiance is in a peace keeping mission in Egypt he's in the National Guard. This is my 1st he's being deplolyed for a year and wont be back till February so I enrolled in a vocational school to get prepared in something while he's gone and it has turned out well. We plan to get married in March of 2011I cant wait for him to come home!

Re:Facing the News

Colleen2's avatarColleen2New Member

My husband and I got engaged 3 days before he left for Basic and AIT, got married the following year, and 3 months later he left for a year long deployment to Iraq. We now have a daughter and he is deployed to Afghanistan, but we have an amazing marriage. It's great that you're getting so involved. I've also been active in our FRG and it's such a huge help. Anytime you're getting discouraged, don't go more than a day without seeking friends/family for encouragement! Your attitude and emotions can have such a positive impact on your husband if he knows you're happy and committed while he's away. :)

Re:Facing the News

bobbysangelwife's avatarbobbysangelwifeNew Member

I married my husband 7 weeks before his 1st deployment. Bringing kids into this after being a single mom for a few years, they didn't seem to mind too much....we handled everything in a short matter of time. I was more upset about this than the kids--husband and I were dating back in '87, broke up and moved on with our lives..or so we thought. ;) 15 years later we found each other again...by him announcing to me that he was deploying later on that year. 3 days later he asked me to marry him--I said YES. There was no way we were letting each other get away again! So the emotional toll on me leading up to that deployment was very emotional--we'd just found each other again and we were going to be separated--again. So sometimes emotions snuck up on me, ambushed me sometimes. But me being a former single mom also toughened me up too. I wasn't as 'clingy' as some of my other wives were. I was used to running the household, doing everything myself anyways...this was no different for me. We came through it with flying colors--had to deal with a couple family tragedies along the way. We've been spoiled in many ways the last 7 years...nothing major has happened with the military--got to do my first ever PCS though! ;) And now we are heading into our 3rd deployment. This time it'll be harder for him---he's in love with another girl...our granddaughter. :) She's just 6 months old and he's going to miss some pretty major milestones over the next year...which breaks my heart a bit because she's been living with us since Day 1. God bless technology though! We're hoping for some good connections and Skype this time. :) Nothing we can do about deployment as spouses...we can love a bit easier, have a bit more patience and tolerance, and just get it done. I've started a business this year, I look forward to kicking it into high gear while he's gone. :)

Re:Facing the News

Kushinada's avatarKushinadaNew Member

My husband and I are dual military. When I found out I was being deployed I never asked my family how they handled it. I'm retired now and my husband's unit was activated for deployment. The emotions are way different than those of being deployed. For months I struggled with the emotions and finally had to seek help to deal with the roller coaster emotions I was experiencing. Now, he's deployed but those emotions are now under control but they'll never go away until he returns.

Re:Facing the News

Sarah718's avatarSarah718New Member

I empathize with all of you on here. I am 30 years old and my husband and I are currently in the middle of his third deployment. He is Army National Guard and is currently in Afghanistan. We had been together for 7 years before getting engaged on my birthday last July. We had been planning for a September 2011 wedding when we found out he got orders for deployment in February of this year. I was completely devastated at first. Even though we had been through two deployments before (one stateside, one in Kosovo), Afghanistan in my mind was just on a completely different level. We decided to become husband and wife before he left. Its been very hard - the internet is not as stable, and he is kept very busy so we don't get to talk/chat as much as I'd like. After 5 months, I feel like I am finally coping and getting through this time. I am staying busy and have a wonderful family and community of friends around me.

Re:Facing the News

Ruthie Hudon's avatarRuthie HudonNew Member

My husband is leaving in march for afhganistan, we have two kids a son that is three and a six month old baby girl. my husband decided when he was in basic that he wanted to keep the army life seperate from our home life and he made this decision without me. i resent that he doesnt want the kids and i at company activities or frg meetings. we have been at our first post for a year now, he refused to live on post and we havent made any friends it has been a long lonely boring year. he doesnt want me to be friends with other army wives becuase he says it causes to much drama between the soldiers. i have no one i am 900 miles away from my family. he is a good soldier and a good husband an awesome father but i am not happy being at home 24-7 with two kids by myself and i am starting to hate my life and the army. i have decided to move home while my husband is deployed. but i want to know has any other wife felt relief when their husband got orders to deploy i feel horrible that i am excited that when he leaves i will have a life again. we havent been on a date for 7 months we dont have anybody we trust to watch the kids and i just want a break. the only time i have away is when he watches them while i go grocery shopping. i love my family but my mom was army and whenever i try to talk to her she tells me to grow up and deal with it, that i chose this life and i need to support His decisions and always put him first. I do try i was raised to be a house wife i was taught to take care of my family and it was understood that being a mother is the most important thing you can do. but i wish that i had a job that i could do what i went to school for and that i had friends and that my husband would let me participate in the benefits the army offers.