I'll never forget the first time one of my friends told me she packs away all of her husbands bathroom items (razor, shaving cream, toothbrush, deodorant, brush, shampoo, soap, etc...) the day after he leaves for deployment.




I had NEVER of heard of this and frankly it had never crossed my mind. However, looking back I can kind of see her point. If looking at that stuff everyday for weeks makes you sad or upset, then why not pack it away? I imagine we all have things that change in our habits once they "are gone". For instance, I keep one of his t-shirts out of the wash for as long as possible. It smells like him and is strangely comforting.


So, while the fact your bathroom vanity and shower might be void of any trace of your loved one (which is entirely okay), here are five things that signal my spouse is deployed:


  1. My laundry shrinks by 2/3. Even without a uniform my spouse has more clothes than me and whenever we leave the house is often the best dressed. (I need to work on this I know.)
  2. There are no pork chops in my refrigerator or freezer. Personally, this is my least favorite meal and his favorite. Although I have been tempted to buy pork chops at the commissary just to feel closer to him. I know...crazy.
  3. Having to put the extra plate I just grabbed out of the cupboard back. This has actually caused a mini breakdown before.
  4. The postal clerks at our local post office know me by name. My budget also takes hit since care packages can get pricey if I'm not careful and creative.
  5. My friends become like my second spouse. I see them more often and even talk to them until the wee hours of the morning. When the deployment is over we almost feel like we have all broken up with each other.

How are things different in your life when your spouse deploys or is away for a long period of time? Are you having cereal for dinner regularly? Is the TV on all night? Maybe you sleep with your cell phone? Share your "signs" in the comment section!

I definitely agree with keeping a shirt out of the laundry to "smell" them from time to time. Cereal, sandwiches, & other 'easy' foods become a regular meal. You get an "itch" to change things - paint, rearrange furniture, etc. All in the name of keeping busy & giving you something 'new' to keep your mind off them being gone. You stay up late to talk to them because of the time difference ... then hanging up is the hardest thing to do. Most of all - anything that can happen will!! Faucets work fine until they're gone & need replaced. Children lock you out of rooms & you find a way to break in. Gutters get clogged. All so you learn how strong you are and become as proud of yourself as you are of them. =)
Wendy Poling
Frequent Contributor
Jenique - Thank you for all listing all your "signs". All the things you list are so true!! One other thing that always happens for me, the pets find a way to escape!
Mrs Jazz Lee
New Member
#5 I definitely agree with. Not only have I received way more love, attention & support from FB friends/support groups I never knew were there I've learned that Im a lot stronger than I thought.
Wendy Poling USAA

Mrs Jazz Lee, You're comment snuck by me, sorry for the delay in responding. FB has really been a strong avenue of support for so many spouses! It allows us easily connect with old friends and stay in touch. Thanks for sharing!